who caught CAT's tongue...not me...

28th Feb 2010...the day CAT 2009 result was declared...


woke up in the morning...had been expectin the cat result...

was pretty calm...nd the result was the last thing on my mind...

went to the loo...cleaned up my act...

had breakfast with family...the breakfast was tasty and healthy...

saw a msg by sanam...nd a few missed calls...

replied back ter her...was good talkin ter her...

helped dad put up the hammock...finally succeeded in doin so...

jugadu sa kaam kar liya...lied in it fer a while...

it was comfy....wind a light breeze...

the sunday paper came...had ter run for the paper...

sis reached first...dad took the other interesting half of the papers...

read wat i was left wit...read the cartoons...they were funny...

read the astro prediction...it was optimistic...and so was i about the result...

got a msg from BullsEye...the result was declared...kept the news ter myself...

took the papers along ter the loo...read it as i waited fer the bucket ter fill wid hot water...

had a nice bath...felt clean n fresh...dried myself n wore some clean clothes...

sis asked me abt the result...told her it was declared...

she was a bit excited thereafter...so vr mum n dad...a bit nervous too...

i was nervous too and was tryin ter keep my calm...

went ter mandir nd gurdwara...felt better n more calm...

had my lunch at the dining table wid family...don remember wat i had...but it was tasty...

went out ter 11 ter chk the result wid dad...the cybercafes there were closed...

went to 15 sec...sat there... the site was inaccessible...

got more anxious...was havin a headache...

dad had some work...he left me there...

tried opening the site for an hour...became irritatin n I then quit...

the site said it wud reopen the server in 3 hrs...this was at 3:45...this wasnt nice...

sanam turned up...was talkin ter her...went ter 16 sec rose garden on a rickshaw...

the back entrance was crowded...took a walk wid her till the front entrance...the walk was nice...

the line was long n the place was crowded....entered inhalin good amount of dust...the wait in the line was nice...

bought some bare ...khatte the n threw them...

bought a papad...seemed unhygeniec...threw it...

saw the bonsai section...saw the flower section...was interesting...

roamed arnd in the garden...had a few good lafs...nd finally went bak...

had a cornetto in sec-10...took a rickshaw back ter 15...

chked out the result...the site opened...the result was onscreen...

n was heart was out...n my head was spinnin arnd...was perplexed as ter how ter react...

was quite n numb...paid the cybercafe wala n came out...was pissed wid the result...

disappointed at how a dreadful turn the destiny had taken...

sanam was holdin my hand...took my hand away...

sat down on a railing...kept blabbering how the result was unfair...

my head kept thinkin ...wat next...wat now...whr does this go...

wud i ever get ter become an actor...had planned of doin 2 yr mba...

then 2 yrs in job...n try joining NSD...tat was over now...felt terrible...

called up some frnds...told them abt the result...again talked of how unfair the result was...

n as i came ter know of some success stories...developed more anger...

wanted ter break something...could ve destroyed somethng...

cursed the prometric...cursed the cat wala...cursed God...

sanam kept tryin ter talk ter me...we had planned on eatin chicken buns n coffeee in sec17...tat didnt happen...

she went ter get something ter eat...brought mazaa n chips...

was feelin pukish...didnt eat or drink...

finally told mum n dad about the result...they felt bad too...not nice...

went for a walk with sanam in 15 sec park...I was still actin like a jerk...she was kind...

got her an auto...she left fer her home...

dad, mum n sis ariived in 15...sis thot 93 percentile was good...

was rude in tellin her its not...felt bad abt it later...

they all tried ter cheer me up...but i was still sulking...

walked in 17 sec wid them...talked about how i was feeling...

was being counseled by them...they vr all disappointed...

mum tried ter cheer me up...nd planned ter have dinner together...

didnt feel like eating...wanted ter b left alone...

the idea was ter get drunk...asked dad ter drop me off ter hostel...

he dropped mum n sis at leisure valley...kunal gunjawala was about ter perform...

me n dad went ter golf club...had some beer n fish tikka...talked more with dad...

saw indians score tow goals against pakis...we ultimately won 4-1...was pleased...

talked more with dad on the same subject...he was encouraging...

asked me ter take my time ter think of wat i wanna do...cudnt see nythng good in it...

dad dropped me ter hostel...I saw him off...

apologised ter God fer the outburst tat was directed at him earlier in the evening...

went ter mandi...got a recharge done...called up sachin askin him ter come over...

bought two beer bottles...sachin n me went back ter the room...

talked ter him a bit abt the result...finished the beer....

talked ter sanam...talked ter rasto...talked ter rdb...it was nice

cried on phone...cried a bit alone...

talked ter atishi...talked ter sanam...it was nice...

talked ter sanam...bought another beer in the mandi...

was very high...didnt cry more...was still disappointed...

send a few msgs ter friends...was still disappointed...

snuggled up in the bed...talked with sanam...

said my good night...n slept...

was it a bad day??? i dont know...it was a good start...but it brought some bad news...

was it a bad day??? i dont know...it was a hopeful start...but it brought a bad end ter a dream...

was it a bad day??? i dont know...

but i know i was disappointed...i know things crashed...

Te@cH mE teR pR@y...

Please teach me, Lord ...
I want to know
Exactly how to pray.
I need some words
Which ones are right?
Please tell me what to say.


I've bowed my head
I have knelt down,
But ... should I be upright?
I've closed my eyes,
I've raised my hands,
Or ... should I fold them tight?


Do I stand up?
Should I sit down?
Dear Lord ... what do you like?
Are lights turned on
Or are they off?
Maybe ... candle light?


Wear my glasses?
Take them off
Be at my desk or table?
Should I whisper?
Speak out loud?
Do I quote the Gita, Koran, Bible
The Buddha or Guru Nanak?


What do you think
About the time?
Do You prefer the dawn?
Should I pray fast,
Or keep it slow?
Better short ... or long?


I'm new at this
What are the rules?
I want to do it right.
How do I know
You'll even hear
That I am in Your sight?


And while I sat there quietly,
Waiting for some sign,
I heard a gentle voice say,
"Oh, dearest child of mine ...
Do you think I really care
About the time of day,
Or whether you are standing up,
Or kneeling when you pray?"


"I don't care about your posture,
Or about the place you choose;
Just open up your soul to me,
I have no other rules.
Tell me what is in your heart,
And tell me what you seek;
Tell me of your sorrows,
And of those things that made you weak."


"Speak to me in private
About what concerns you most;
I know about your good deeds ...
You have no need to boast.
My child, you don't need lessons,
Just talk to me each day;
Tell me anything you want, dear child,
Anyone can pray."

aphorisms...take two - Being Unique...

a boy once saw something very minute...small particles that shone in varied colours ...

the minute particles at once caught his fancy...and the boy realised that he saw these particles easily when he narrowed his eyes or he when there was a a single ray of sun entering a dark room...

Maybe this was something special, something only he could see and probably he had some power which no one else had. This feeling of being a unique human-being overwhelmed him.

And it became his guarded secret. It made him happy and made him think that he was part of a bigger scheme of things.
One day he shared it with someone very close to him, a person who possessed more scientific knowledge than he did. This person told him that those things he saw can be seen by everybody else and are just dust particles. Shattering his belief was the best the person did.

But the small boy is not the only one who harnesses such beliefs. Every human being tries to find smallest of things that would make hi or her unique. This feeling of exclusivity has always captured humans.

every human has a tendency to feel unique, special and unparrelled ; that feeling makes him or her ordinary.

Aphorisms...take one

this is a story about a kid who wanted ter grow up and become a poet...

so this very curious kid goes ter his mum and asks her how to become a poet when he grows up...

the mother patiently listens ter him...and says...

you can either grow up or be a poet.

the child in us percieves the beauty around us in true sense.

and its the child in us that helps to portray that what we percieve,